IN THE TRENCHES OF MOTHERHOOD

I have not been able to talk about this yet, although I blogged on the day it happened. My sister called me with a crack in her voice on Thursday and asked if would pick her son up from school and take care of him for a while. Her dog was sick and she at the vet. I was just leaving work and on my way to the school. By the time I picked up my nephew and my own 2 daughters from school and daycare my phone rang again. I had a car full of kids in my driveway and a sobbing sister on the other end of the phone, she was just informed they will have to put her dog down, suddenly. I stepped out of the car and asked if she wanted me to tell my 8 year old nephew what was going on, should I bring him to the vet for one last visit? She said, "ask him". So I got back into the car full of kids and explained to all of them, directed at my nephew, that your dog is very sick and she is going to be put to sleep forever today. He wanted to go see her to say goodbye. We all made the trip to the vet. Kasia wanted to stay in the car at first because she was scared. I took Ava and my nephew in to see the Bree, the black and white springer spaniel. I left Johnathon with my sister and their dog as I went to check on Kasia, and told the kids I would get them some treats at the store. We went back to the vet again, I picked up 2 bottles of wine as well on the way, foreseeing a long night. I saw my sister who was numb and could not speak, she was waiting for her husband to arrive at rush hour in Toronto. I sugared the kids up in the waiting room with my treats and I went in to see Bree for one last time. It was a family gathering, I offered to take my nephew home and get dinner prepared for everyone (wine included), that was our plan. He put on a brave face and said he wanted to stay to be with his mom. I packed up my girls and we headed home thinking of what they were going through for the next hour. Kasia did go in to say goodbye to Bree and all weekend I have been explaining what death is to her. She asks a question about it then as soon as I answer she's on to the next subject. The reality is this will be us someday putting our family pet to sleep and dealing with death again. The children have lost a grandmother recently but never really understood as they were not in contact with her on a daily or weekly basis. This is really for all of them my two nephews 8 and 1, and my two daughters 3 and 1 their first experience of death.

We have been gathering all weekend to support my sister and her family. It has been an emotional time, losing a family member and trying to kept the stress of it all at a minimum for the children's sake. Answering questions about death, explaining loss, trying to teach Kasia to be conscious of Johnathon's needs and emotions and let him cry, supporting the blank stare on his face when we bring up the dogs name with a hug. As for my sister this will is another story, Bree was her "ROCK". As a sole proprietor she does not always have people to turn to, to feel supported in business and the daily grind of being a working mom, but she always had Bree.

As for the trickle down affect, I am emotionally exhausted. Bree was our inspiration for getting our brown and white springer spaniel, Sammy. I took Sammy to bootcamp this weekend with me and just appreciated having her by my side.

Mike has taken the girls to the park so I could do a workout and have some down time. He needed to do this after giving my one nights notice he was travelling.

My busy mom workout- 10 Shoulder stabilization exercises, modified pullups, bent over rows, kettlebell windmill, ab rollouts, prone jackknife, band resisted lunges in all directions. I needed to perform rehabilitative type exercise today for maintenance and help me deal with my tightened muscles from the stress of the week.